Tamar

Did you know that there are 5 women listed in the Geneology of Christ in Matthew Chapter 1? There is Mary, the mother of Jesus, Tamar, Rahab, Ruth and the mother of Solomon (Bathsehba but she is not named)

Let me set some context here.  Matthew is writing to a Jewish audience.  Jesus was born into a Jewish family but the 4 women named outside of Mary were not Jewish, they were considered Gentiles.

Why do you think this is?  In this day and age, Genealogy and bloodline is VERY important.  Normally women are not named.  I believe that having non-Jewish women mentioned and in Christ’s genealogy shows that Christ came for everyone, not just Jews.  Over and over God shows us that we are all broken and sin, yet he will forgive us and if we believe, he will take us into his arms in eternity. 

Of the five women mentioned in Matthew 1, I want to focus today on Tamar. For many, Tamar is the least known woman in the Geneology of Christ.  She appears first in verse 3.

Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,

At first this verse might seem confusing because Tamar is originally Judah’s daughter in law.  As we go through this story you will see that she ends up bearing sons with Judah.

Judah had three sons with his wife: Er, Onan, and Shelah.

Tamar’s story goes back to Genesis 38. She was the wife of Judah’s oldest son Er but he was wicked so God put them to death. 

So Judah has a plan but it backfires.  Let’s read the story in Genesis 38 verses 8-10

8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so the Lord put him to death also.

So Onan doesn’t want to be a father to Tamar’s child and he is put to death.

Judah has a young son but he doesn't want to give him to Tamar just yet, he is afraid he will die also so he tells her to wait until he grows up.  After some time, Judah’s wife dies and his youngest son is grown.  Tamar sees that Judah is not going to give him to her to conceive.  Tamar it out of patience and  more than likely bitter at this point.  She wanted to bear a child so she disguised herself as a prostitute and waited for Judah. Judah had no idea who she was.  In fact the story says that he gave her gifts in exchange for sex and then he tried to find out who the prostitute was but nobody could find her.  Three months later, Tamar goes to Judah and tells him she is pregnant.  Not knowing it is his yet, he wants her burned to death.  The reason for this is the shame to his family that she is pregnant out of wedlock but low and behold, she brings out the gifts he gave her when they were together and it is his child.  Who has brought shame to the family now?

In fact in verse 26 it says - 

26 Judah recognized them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not sleep with her again.

So Tamar lays a trap and Judah falls for it.  Here we see that he feels more guilty for it than Tamar.  He knows that he didn’t honor his word by letting her marry his third son.  He broke his promise and left her with no hope of having a child.  I don’t think he sees her as guiltless, which she is not, he just now realizes he created the whole mess in the first place.  She is guilty of sexual immorality but so is he and on top of it he broke a promise.

Scripture gives no details on their relationship other than he did not sleep with her again.

So how are you feeling about Tamar right now?  She lost 2 husbands because they were wicked.  She was made a promise, a big one to her, that was broken.  She deceives Judah and now has no one who loves her, no companion but she finally will have a child.

Should we feel sorry for her?  In the beginning, it doesn’t seem like she is a bad person or wicked, only her husbands are said to be the wicked ones.  She is desperate and desperate people do desperate things.  Even in all her brokenness, she can’t comprehend her role in God’s plan.

We all need to remember that.  Things might not always look great right now, but we have to trust God and his timing for us.  He has a plan for our lives.

If we go back to Matthew chapter 1 where Tamar is introduced in the genealogy of Christ, remember it read

Judah the father of Perez and Zerah, whose mother was Tamar,

When you start following the story, it is confusing since Tamar starts out as Judah’s daughter in law but hopefully it is starting to come together.  Tamar's first husband Er dies, then Judah’s second son who Tamar was told to sleep with to produce a child dies and Judah is scared his third son will die so he does not let Tamar sleep with him. Tamar tricks Judah and becomes pregnant.

Tamar has twin boys with Judah -   Zarah – which means “rising one” and

Perez – which means “one who breaks through” 

Preez is the one God chooses to be in the line of the Savior and why we see Tamar in the Geneology of Christ.

This story shows God’s amazing grace to us as sinners.  God is working behind the scenes at all times.  Even the most flawed and sinful people can be used and blessed by God.

Why do we think Matthew included Tamar in the Geneology?  Remember Jesus is from the tribe of Judah. Matthew could have mentioned Sarah, Rebekkah, or Leah, the respective wives of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob but instead he mentions Tamar who was part of a very shameful event in the Old Testament. Many Jews would know this story. 

God used Tamar for His long-term purpose. God can use any one of us. Not only can we be used, but our sinful actions can be used. What happened between Judah and Tamar was sinful, but we should not blame the child, it was not his fault. That child was used to bring Christ to the world to save us all from our sins like Tamar. We today should be thankful to see these people in the genealogy of Christ knowing we sin but He died for our sins and gives us grace day after day.